The Twelve Days Of Christmas

Apparently, the twelve days of Christmas evolved from a Pagan tradition of reflecting upon the year just past. The Pagans would reflect on January on day one, February on day two and so on and so forth. I had every intention of making my family endure such reflection during the twelve days of Christmas this year but got caught up in the unwrapping of presents, the Doctor Who episodes and the over-indulgence of chocolates and wine.

I have some making up to do!

January
January was as Januarys always are -the calm after the December storm. There wasn't much travelling and not much planning to travel. I did, however, get a contract renewal which was possibly the highlight of the month.

February
I visited Poland for the first time ever in February. I was greted by what looked like storm-troopers but it turned out that Hillary Clinton was in town for a NATO summit. Krakow was excellent, however. Auschwitz was sombre. Warka Strong was consumed in vast quantities. I'm looking forward to my return.

Saw Jimmy Car this month - very funny. Won £50 on the Premium Bonds. Woo-hoo.

March
March is the only month that has failed to present me with any event that I can recall. Did I sleep through March?

April
I turned 38 in April and took the kids to London for the weekend. The Natural History Museum, The British Museum, Gordon Ramsay's Maze Grill (for some Wagyu steak) and The London Eye were the highlights for me. The kids, however, preferred the fact I could stick my hand out and jump in a cab as their "best bit".

Saw Rob Brydon this month - very funny.

May
May saw me start working on a project in Oxford. I'd never visited Oxford before and was unpleasantly surprised to find that the heart of England is nowhere near an airport! I had to spend the rest of the year flying in and out of Birmingham and being hassled on the Cross Country train service from Birmingham to Oxford (and back). Still, I got to work on a Local Education Authority project and finally got out of Financial Services (after a 19 year wait). That was an eye-opener!

I also got to be best man at a wedding held at La Manoir - Raymond Blanc's little eatery in Oxfordshire. I can't imagine I'll ever be at a wedding which has the bride walking down the aisle to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars again!

June
We had hoped to go to New York in June - but couldn't. Kids at school and all that.

July
I went to a music festival for the first time ever - Cornbury in Oxfordshire. Pimms and Lemonade was on offer and I loved the fact it was being served from a double-decker bus. The Damned, The Pretenders and The Sugababes headlines and the sun shone - mostly. Sleeping in a tent, however, was more of a chore. I'm used to something a little more Five-Star it would seem!

My father got married while we were holidaying.

August
The highlight of August was possibly taking the kids to the Grand Opera House to see The Big Friendly Giant. I was intrigued as to how they could possibly make a stage version of this Roald Dahl classic and pleasantly surprised at the result. Kids loved it too.

September
I got to go to Malaga for a wedding in September. Sharing a villa with good friends and Champagne is hard to beat. Alhambra was great too!

October
Deep sea fishing off the coast of Donegal was meant to be an opportunity to fill the freezer with self-caught haddock and cod. Unfortunately, I caught one small mackerel (and even that was a mis-hook) and nine gurnards (which, by all accounts, are stinking). The fishing was fun though. And the stars visible from Donegal were spectacular. Also got to see some Shakespeare for the first time ever - Macbeth. It was an odd interpretation of Will's masterpiece though. German Soldiers riding around on WWII motorcycles? Had to be seen to be believed!

November
November was a quiet month until Motorhead came to town! A few nights were spent watching the International Space Station fly by.

December
I got to present the books that I had written to their intended recipients. At least, I got to present them to half of the intended recipients. The other half couldn't make it from Gloucester to Belfast due to the flurries of snow that settled across the UK.

The Ramblings Of A Five Year Old

I frequently find myself thinking "I should write that down... that's brilliant" and then not writing it down. This week, my five year old daughter gave me cause to think that I should really write down what she has just said. I didn't, of course. Thankfully, I've just had a moment of clarity and realised that I have a spare five minutes with which I could put to some use by recording what she said.

Thank Goodness For "The Simpsons"
Emily: "Daddy? I don't want to be a gay"

Daddy: Speechless. Gobsmacked. Stunned.

Thankfully, Rachel, my eight year old daughter stepped in by stating that she didn't want to be a gay either and went on to explain that gays were girls who kissed other girls and boys who kissed other boys.

Daddy: Still speechless and wondering what subjects had made it on to the primary school curriculum!

Rachel, again thankfully, explained that she had learnt about gays by watching an episode of The Simpsons!

Final Day Of Term
Today, my girls left school for the last time in 2009. It was the final day of term. Naturally, I asked them what they did during their final school day. "Did you learn anything about trigonometry? Did you read any Shakespeare? What about Ecce Romani? Have you even started 'In pictura est puella'?"

Emily started dancing in the kitchen singing "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me? Don't cha?"

Remember? Five years old. The only music played in our house is AC/DC, The Beatles, classical music and Enya (eclectic, I know). Where does she learn this stuff? School, of course. Her classmates are the teachers of course.

Liverpool Team Of The Decade

2009 is drawing to a close and the last 10 years following Liverpool FC has had its highs (Champions League, 2005) and its lows (languishing in 8th place this evening!).

I was asked today if I could name the best 11 players from the decade and it was definitely a struggle but I've plumped for this:

GK: Pepe Reina
RB: Steve Finnan
CB: Jamie Carragher
CB: Sami Hyypia
LB: John Arne Riise
RM: Luis Garcia
CM: Steven Gerrard
CM: Xabi Alonso
LM: Patrik Berger
CF: Michael Owen
CF: Fernando Torres

Now, I've left out a lot of players that ideally I would try to find room for in that team. I've made room on the subs bench:

Didi Hamann
Dirk Kuyt
Peter Crouch
Jerzy Dudek
Javier Mascherano

Gary McAllister

I wonder how my team would fare in the Premier League?

New Suit Impact

I have waddled into the office each day this week only to find that I immediately begin sweating furiously. I know it is a weight related issue but it is strange to note that I was fine during the walk but gushing when I got into the office. I reckon the temperature difference between outside and inside is to blame!

At least, I used to think that. Last night, I bought a new suit. It has that new suit look, that new suit smell and feels pretty good to wear. I waddled into the office (11 minutes, as usual) and felt that I was looking pretty good. And guess what? No gushing when I got in.

Could it be that the new suit made me feel more comfortable and more of a "cool dude" and psychologically it ensured that I wouldn't have the physiological response that I was starting to become used to?

(BTW - there was a very nice new shirt involved too!)

Too Considerate

I'm sitting in an airport lounge with a bag of pretzels and a glass of passable white wine (and if you are really interested, it is the FlyBE lounge at Birmingham International Airport) and I'm not looking forward to the flight.

I've been very lucky this year. Hardly any delays and I have frequently gotten a seat with nobody beside me. That means I can take my shoes off and stretch my legs even further than normal.

Recently, however, it has started to go wrong. I've had to sit beside randoms. Now, don't get me wrong, I like randoms as they can be entertaining. Not my recent randoms though. All alpha males! All arm rest hoggers!

I don't use the middle arm rest. It's not that I don't want it, it's just that it seems polite to allow the more needy the opportunity to use it. But most men seem to hog it regardless. AND IT IS WINDING ME UP!

Why are people so inconsiderate? Why can't people just be excellent to one another (to re-use a well worn phrase)?

So... I'm sitting in 7C tonight. I wonder who will be in 7D!
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What a hero...

Something happened to me today which I thought was quite extraordinary. I have watched many sit-coms set up a (supposedly hilarious) scene whereby the driver of a car gets out of his/her car without applying the hand-brake then watch in horror as their car starts rolling down a hill. The canned laughter is used to ensure that the viewing public are aware that this scene is supposed to be humorous despite the fact that it is plainly not.

I always thought it would be quite impossible for someone to get out of a car and to walk away before the car started to roll.

I was wrong.

A young girl, who had recently passed her traffic test if the 'R' plates on her wind-screen were anything to go by, got out of her Peugeot hatchback and walked along the pavement passed me. As I approached her car, it started to roll.

Without thinking, I stepped out on to the road and (eventually) stopped it crashing into a brand new Audi A4.

I felt very pleased with myself and really rather heroic especially as my daughters eyes lit up at the thought that I had done something so fantastic. Daddies are supposed to be heroes... and now I am :-)

Violated...

A medium-rare fillet steak, chips and pepper sauce was washed down by a bottle of Wolfblass Shiraz. The evening is a success - how could it not be with steak, chips and shiraz? I got back to my hotel room and found that The Commitments was being shown on the television. It gets better!

By the time I decided it was time for some shut-eye I figured I'd had a great night!

I found some soothing tracks on the iPod and plugged the headphones into..... into my head :-)

After just a couple of tracks, I was fast asleep.

For some reason, I woke at around 2:20am. I opened my eyes to find a silhouette of a man standing in the doorway. I didn't panic; I didn't assume that I was going to be robbed or violated; from what I recall, I didn't think ANYTHING.

I merely took off my headphones and the man said "you've left your car lights on".

Apparently, he had been knocking on the door for quite some time. The moral, don't fall asleep with headphones in.